Monthly Archives: September 2014


It is often a wide array of experiences that dictate your propensity to expect from people, get mad at them, get disappointed by them and get hurt by them.

However, once you have had too many of such experiences, you become desensitized to these feelings. The immunity bubble that you hover within is both, a remedy as well as a disease. Albeit it saves you from the hurt that dwells hungrily in the dark alleys inside you, waiting to pounce at your heart at every chance it gets, the same immunity aborts that innocence in you and hardens you. It’s not that at 23 you fear opening upto someone who’ll step in your life, say your future spouse or a dear friend. It’s just that you fear that evenĀ  if you want to, the feelings that lie dead in that casket inside you seem impervious to the life blown by another tender soul.

To the world you seem a rather flaccid target and they hurl at you in subtle jokes and mild teases because they know you wouldn’t react. You laugh those vacant laughs and don’t find them worthy of your retort or wit. But God knows how much the stone cold monster that’s growing in you feeds on this. Feeds on every ounce of the facade you put.

Dear, oh dear, here’s to penning your hollow fear.

PS: The only real apprehension from the beast inside is… what if your sajdahs are just as hollow?

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Posted by on September 23, 2014 in Uncategorized


Why are you putting your head on the chopping block.

Have you ever had one of those days when a thought just magically gets implanted in your head and even though you muse over it mildly, few incidents along THAT line just happen out of the blue that intensify that thought so much that you just HAVE express it somewhere. For me, today just happens to be one of those days.

I won’t go about furnishing this passage with flowery vocabulary because it’s one of those set of words that just need a spontaneous release so as to depict the raw nature of my expression. It’s on the trend of HARAAM RELATIONSHIPS! I have had my fair share of mistakes in the area where one has to deal with the opposite gender and may Allah (SWT) bless the likes of NAK for his satirical approach towards the trending idea of “love” that’s just becoming increasingly stigmatic in our society that helps me daily. But dude, people are going way too nuts with it. At first I assumed that it was only viral among young adults and adolescents with raging hormones but this disease is timeless. I mean, such stuff is a perfect recipe for self-destruction.

I won’t go around disclosing my sins because that’s my past but I thank Allah for helping me get out of this. I also can’t guarantee whether I’ll not fall in such a sin and I seek refuge from Allah SWT from indulging in this heinous act but it doesn’t mean that I don’t despise this at present. I, from experience, understand how guys actually work in the process of such relationships; they will approach you and once you get all giggly with them and give the prospect of a lovey-dovey relationship a shot, you’re basically aiming the barrel at not only your sanity, productivity and morals but most importantly, your relationship with your ever-lasting Love, Allah (SWT). I mean, if a guy professes his feelings to me, why would I want to commit this spiritual suicide? Not only will this incur the displeasure of our Master but also sabotage our lives in BOTH worlds. Isn’t real love something eternal? Then why would a period of texts, calls, secret dates, holding hands, giggling with your “Janu” and “Baby” and “Honey Bunny” result in a massive heart-ache and break up? And if you’re lucky enough to understand the wisdom that such a depressing definition of love is nothing but raging hormones then why would you bother doing it again? And if you REALLY love your boyfriend/girlfriend, then why are you getting scared of actually fulfilling these vows by making a sound commitment through nikaah rather than plunging both yourselves into this sin?


You get desensitized by the number of times you’ve feelings for your multiple boyfriends/girlfriends and actually end up inducing that psyche in something as pure as marriage. Not only this, you put your future families in jeopardy by catering to your nafs as your children will look up to you and it would be hypocritical on your part to condemn your offspring from committing the mistake your recklessly spent your whole life committing. Not only this, you’ll be testifying against your honey boo in front of Allah SWT on Judgement Day. I’m not judging you, but I can’t condone my old self and anyone for this sin. If you didn’t know that, then slowly back out of this muddle now. If you, however, know it and still continue on relishing on this ideal of “love” then May Allah help you.

I wish we understand. I just wish. Ugh. Rant. Out.

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Posted by on September 5, 2014 in Uncategorized