After 5 years of blogging about matters that, perhaps, only made clear sense to me, I’m starting a new blog. But before I start posting, I will reminisce upon my writings and the underlying mess that forced a plethora of baseless ramblings out of me.
I, for most part of my life and maybe even now, have been struggling with self discovery. I have often brooded about this with my fellow compatriots who too, have been plagued by over thinking. Self-discovery has been a plight for many who’ve tread this road and after I stepped on this path, instead of gaining anything substantial out of it, I lost bits and pieces of me. Hence, most of my previous posts were nothing more than a strange set of analogies and isolated fragments of void sensory perceptions that, if I managed to cohesively put in sentences, failed to develop any proper sense out of. So I stopped blogging because I knew that not only did I lack sense, the venture was turning out to be counter-productive. Many a times, my pride would get in the way and I would simply post with the hopes of my audience of 4-5 devoted followers popping in a view and dropping in a comment to fulfill the appetite of my ego. But I lacked the true sense of fulfillment that I was blogging for a purpose.
So now, after finally managing to let go of the 5 year old archives of my trashy ramblings, I’m starting anew. This time, I dedicate my writings to a theme: Self discovery through Islam. As I mentioned earlier, I have been a hapless victim of self discovery. The frustration of not knowing myself and loosing whatever I was in the process often materialized in pointless breakdowns, bursts of angers (I wholeheartedly, thank my loved ones for bearing through all of this) and lack of creativity and productivity. I’m glad my 3 best friends S, S and S motivated me to turn over to Allah for help. Oh, don’t get me wrong! I’m not one of those emo depressed individuals who would mope over their misfortunes every now and then, I’m just trying to discover my true essence and for the last month now, I have started that by embarking on a journey towards my Lord through Islam.
Alhamdulillah, I am learning something new everyday and this is helping me more in self discovery than any thing else. My true essence is something that I find in the vast ocean of Islamic ideals that I’ve just started exploring. Almost each day, I muse over my actions and find my essence in what the paradigms of Islam demand from me and where I lie. This blog shall, Inshaa’Allah, be a more of a personal documentation. I’ll try to depict the happenings around me and pitch in what I learn. I don’t promise that I’ll be regular but hopefully, these accounts will help describe me as an individual to myself and also serve as a ground for self improvement. However, with my ever random nature, I might dump in a few opinionated posts of my own and some ramblings here and there. 😉
For now, I can only say “Bismillah” and hope that I am guided by Allah in the process and that I become a source of positivity and productivity to myself and eventually, to those who follow my blog. (Which isn’t in my tendency to do so though 😦 )